Cleaning the garage

First, let me confess that I am not a carpenter, mechanic, electrician or painter.

It all started Sunday afternoon while I was away and my wife Tonda decided to clean out the garage. I do not mean: just sweep it out. I mean clean it out - you know, keep what you need and throw out what you don’t need.

She started with the paint cans. She counted over 40 different cans and obviously some had to go, so she started shaking the cans. The ones that were solid were tossed. No big decision there. When she finished shaking (the cans) she’d cut our collection to about 20. She turned to start a new project when it dawned on her that many of the others were probably not colors we’d use any more. She discovered that 1/3 of the remaining cans either had no label or the lids were rusted shut. Actually two of the cans’ bottoms were rusted out. One of the cans had rusted so bad she broke a screwdriver opening it to see what was inside. After all this, we (I had arrived home by this time) had 10 cans remaining. My question to her was, “Why don’t we bite the bullet and throw them all out?”

Below is a brief inventory of stuff from our garage. You’ll notice no cars are listed in this inventory because no cars can fit in our garage. Also, did I mention that I’m a pack rat?

(1) Flag pole, less mounting bracket

(2) Out of date fire extinguisher

(3) Bedside table, olive green

(4) Drawer full of, at least, 30 pounds of gaskets, washers, screws, spark plugs and wires from my son’s car we’d sold decades ago.

(5) Scads of flower pots

(6) 20 feet of rusted, heavy chain

(7) An “I feel good when I smile” wall hanging

(8) Thirteen boxes of Christmas lights and decorations

(9) Two quarts of Boiled Linseed oil (I wonder what the linseed oil did to deserve that?)

(10) Picnic table with chairs (unpainted)

(11) Three unmatched work gloves

(12) Six cans of various stains

(13) Four different kinds of rope

(14) Seven bent curtain rods

(15) Six cans of various spray enamel (none working)

(16) Two different kinds of grout (petrified)

(17) One 5-gallon bucket of Ready Mix All Purpose joint Compound that weighed enough to be a battleship anchor

(18) Five ladders

(19) Various shovels, rakes and trowels

(20) One axe with broken handle, and

All together now, A partridge in a pear tree.

This list brings to mind the late George Carlin’s riff about stuff. He was so right.

Trivia question of the day

(Try it without Google)

The answer will be in tomorrow’s blog.

Yesterday’s Question: Who was the Englishman who bet he could travel around the world in 80 days? ANSWER: Phileas Fogg

Today’s Trivia: This watch was the sponsor of the first television commercial on July 1, 1941. The watch sold for $9. Name the company?